end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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