some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
