apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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