I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
