I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
