A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
