help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
