at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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