i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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