Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
