No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
