i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
