someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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