Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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