New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
