You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
