if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
