I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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