I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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