im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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