I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
