There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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