this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
