sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
