Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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