He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize