dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
