Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
