I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
