should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
