wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
