haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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