Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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