I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
