sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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