I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
