I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
4 words: hood of his car
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
