i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
