Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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