It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
