you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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