Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I did not marry a roomba.
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