ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
