Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
