the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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