That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
