If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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