Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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