i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize