Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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