I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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