We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
