apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
