don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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