My room smells like vodka and shame
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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