My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
