Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
