nut hugger
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
