do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
