its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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